• Dec
    05
    Zoom Trivia Night

    Grab paper and pen and join us for another fun-filled night of Trivia with prizes via Zoom!

  • Dec
    06
    Book Festival: Philippa Gregory

    Book Festival In Your Living Room Live Continues with Philippa Gregory, author of “Dark Tides”

  • Dec
    06
    Terrific Tastings: Let's Go Nuts!

    Join us for our next Terrific Tastings – “Let’s Go Nuts!” and taste these delicious nut butters from the comfort of your home!

Smiles – June 8, 2020

Daily Dose Smiles

All jokes submitted by our insane membership joke team.

Groan Men

Mahatma Gandhi, as everyone knows, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a – READY! Super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Eskimos
 
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chlly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your Kayak and Heat it, too.

The Meaning of a Miracle

Having preached a sermon on miracles, a print in Ireland, while walking homeward, was asked boon of his congregation to explain a little more clearly what a moral meant.

“It’s a miracle you want to understand?” asked the clergyman, “then walk on ahead a little and I’ll try to think of how I can explain it to you.”
After the man had walked on a little, the priest came after him and gave him a tremendous kick.

“Ow-w-w!” roared the man. “What did you do that for?” “did you feel it?” asked the priest. “To be sure, I did,” replied the man. “Well, then, it would have been a miracle if you had not.”

When this quarantine is over, let’s not tell some people.

Why is it that your nose runs, but your feet smell?
••••
I many not have lost all my marbles yet,
but there is a small hole in the bag somewhere.
••••
Apparently you can’t use ‘beefstew’ as a password.
It’s not stroganoff!
••••
Yesterday I saw an ad that said ‘Radio for Sale, $1, Volume stuck on Full’
I thought, ‘I can’t turn that down”

3 Riddles! (Answers below)

  1. I speak without a mouth and hear without ears. I have no body, but I come alive with wind. What am I?

  2. You measure my life in hours and I serve you by expiring. I’m quick when I’m thin and slow when I’m fat. The wind is my enemy. What am I?

  3. I have cities, but no houses. I have mountains, but no trees. I have water, but no fish. What am I?

I Dig, You Dig, We Dig, He Dig, She Dig, They Dig

It’s not a beautiful poem but it is VERY DEEP!

Riddle Answers

1) An Echo

2) A Candle

3) A Map