Feb
    07
    Current Events Discussion Group

    Be a part of a lively discussion on the topic of the day, every first Tuesday and Third Thursday.

  • Feb
    08
    Music & Morsels: Romantic & More

    Join us for the Alliance concert debut of special guest artist – pianist Nada – as she discusses and plays a gorgeous program of masterpieces by Robert Schumann and Franz Liszt.

  • Feb
    09
    Exploring Broadway: Love Songs

    Join popular instructor James Sokol to explore the creative ways lyrics of love are expressed in a variety of melodies.

Smiles – June 8, 2020

Daily Dose Smiles

All jokes submitted by our insane membership joke team.

Groan Men

Mahatma Gandhi, as everyone knows, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a – READY! Super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Eskimos
 
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chlly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your Kayak and Heat it, too.

The Meaning of a Miracle

Having preached a sermon on miracles, a print in Ireland, while walking homeward, was asked boon of his congregation to explain a little more clearly what a moral meant.

“It’s a miracle you want to understand?” asked the clergyman, “then walk on ahead a little and I’ll try to think of how I can explain it to you.”
After the man had walked on a little, the priest came after him and gave him a tremendous kick.

“Ow-w-w!” roared the man. “What did you do that for?” “did you feel it?” asked the priest. “To be sure, I did,” replied the man. “Well, then, it would have been a miracle if you had not.”

When this quarantine is over, let’s not tell some people.

Why is it that your nose runs, but your feet smell?
••••
I many not have lost all my marbles yet,
but there is a small hole in the bag somewhere.
••••
Apparently you can’t use ‘beefstew’ as a password.
It’s not stroganoff!
••••
Yesterday I saw an ad that said ‘Radio for Sale, $1, Volume stuck on Full’
I thought, ‘I can’t turn that down”

3 Riddles! (Answers below)

  1. I speak without a mouth and hear without ears. I have no body, but I come alive with wind. What am I?

  2. You measure my life in hours and I serve you by expiring. I’m quick when I’m thin and slow when I’m fat. The wind is my enemy. What am I?

  3. I have cities, but no houses. I have mountains, but no trees. I have water, but no fish. What am I?

I Dig, You Dig, We Dig, He Dig, She Dig, They Dig

It’s not a beautiful poem but it is VERY DEEP!

Riddle Answers

1) An Echo

2) A Candle

3) A Map